Hello! I'm Lucy, a 16 year old bisexual from England. I'm totally not obsessed with Tom Hiddleston. When I grow up I want to be Karen Gillian
“Peel your own image from the mirror, and feast on your life.” - Tom Hiddleston
Life tip: bring a book with you everywhere you go
Life pro tip: bring two, in case you finish the first one.
Bigger life pro tip: Bring a kobo/kindle with you everywhere so you have an entire library with you at all times.
Ultimate life pro tip: live in a library and never ever leave.
Supreme life tip: Become a library
Sorry this is a tad late folks, laptop disaster occurred! (again)
previously on Miss Something Blog: Tilly went to her therapist before her first day back to school after attempting suicide 6 months earlier. There she was told to start blogging but she has no idea what she can bog about.
A violent snore wakes me up from me deep slumber the next morning. My head darts up. A bit bit little drool was flowing down out of my mouth onto my laptop key board. Ahh crap. The once clear white screen was filled with random letters and numbers from where my face had been lying for the past 6 hours.
I winced as I moved my neck to look over to my clock. 6:30 glowed green in a dark room. 2nd September was upon me. I could already feel that all too familiar swell of butterflies and numbness in my stomach, feeling as though it’ll explode out of my mouth.
I shiver as the almost ice cold water cascades down my body. I hadn’t missed this. My body was almost in a constant spasm as I cross the room towards my wardrobe to put on my school uniform. Luckily for me, school had loosened up on the uniform by the time pupils hit year 11 – I ditched the blazer and just put on a shirt, silver tie, and skirt and grey jumper sporting St George’s logo. Before I left, I grabbed my bag and stuffed an old note book deep into the bowels of the bag. They always say inspiration hits us at the strangest moments, might as well be prepared for those moments of wisdom.
The bus was a babble of excited teenagers, all seeing their friends after a long summer break. I trudged up the narrow isle, the fellow year 11s stared at me and whispered to one another - “Is it her?” “No! She’s dead isn’t she?” - But for me, I sat alone with head phones and my thoughts, ignoring the whispers of my peers. What COULD I blog about? Circles my brain again and again, like an old stereo on repeat.
As I set off the bus, I come across the great grey swell of kids pushing towards the entrance to hell. I inhale a long breath. Here we go again.
“Tilly!” a familiar voice calls out after me. Cole Hatherford. “Oh my gosh! I didn’t think you’d be back!” He smiled as he’d pushed his way through the crowd to me.
“Yeah.” I smile at him, perfect school uniform which could find no fault, a complete opposite of mine of course. Agh crap, I’d made things awkward already. “How’s your boyfriend? What was his name? Dylan?”
“Well, that was over before it even started! The low little creature used me to get to another guy and I’m really hurt by that like, who would do that to someone? I mean…” One detail, Cole is very gay. I mean very, very gay. That boy came out of the womb proclaiming to be fabulous. Ever since he was old enough to talk, all the other boys made fun of him for playing with girls toys and dressing like a girl. Even in this generation we have homophobic ass holes that look at him like dirt. I guess that’s why we just floated together over the years. “… He’s not even worth my time”
By now we’ve made it to the front entrance of St George’s and were shuffling slowly to the corridor.
“I told Grace and Darcy to meet us in the hall.” He says before I wonder around in the maze of my school. I’d forgotten the smell of school, the musky strong smell of sweat and cleaning fluids with a little bit of urine. I really hadn’t missed this place.
Cole guides me to the hall to meet Darcy and Grace but on the way stops me in a quiet section of hallway and embraces me affectionately.
“I’m so happy you’re here Tilly. Seriously, I don’t think I could’ve faced this next year without you baby.” He softly kisses my cheek and hugs me again. I could tell he meant it.
“Oh, swingin’ for the girls now are ‘ya fag! Or are ‘ya just lyin’ to yourself?” A boy shouts at him to then giggle to his group of friends.
“What? Are you jealous?” He responds after taking a deep breath. The group of boys shake their heads in disgust.
“You’re gross, you know that! People of the same gender aren’t supposed to be together! It’s just wrong!”
“Well get rid of that lesbian porn you’ve got on your computer at home, honey.” They all scoff and walk away grabbing their pants and shaking their heads in disgust.
Apply water to burned area. I look at him in shock. “What? When your baby isn’t around you’ve gotta learn how defend yourself.” He giggles and we walk away to the hall.
My stomach tingles with a mix of happiness and pure fear as Cole and I stand at the door to the hall. I can’t get myself to look up from the floor. I look a little stain on the old dark wood floor and take deep breaths, transfixed on this one spot.
“Don’t worry honey. It’s only Darcy and Grace. Breath.” He opens the door slowly. I still cant look. “on the count of three. One. Two. Three.”
My heart skips a beat as I look from the floor into the room…